Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
