ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Send help, water and tortillas.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Randomize
