Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
