just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
