I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
