he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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