Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
