No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
