i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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