would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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