Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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