u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
