dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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