youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
