which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
