Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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