Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
