so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
