There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
