dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We need to get me chipped asap
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
