Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Princesses don't give blow jobs
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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