I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My pussy is not your playground.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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