You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
