Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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