it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
