Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
God I need to hump something, right now.
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