The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
