Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
