we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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