my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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