no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
