fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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