I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize