how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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