its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
