he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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