nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
