Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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