Apparently you make a good broom.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
