I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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