Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do vagina's smell?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
