Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
