I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
