after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
