dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
