Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
