So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
