i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
