i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
