If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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