Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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