SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Four minutes until I can fart!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I feel like a drive thru vagina
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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