oh god the rape fog is back!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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