just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Boobs speak an international language.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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