I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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