Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
