He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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