Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
