i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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