I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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